Hi hater.

I am soooooooo sick & tired of all the haters who fucking hate me for NO fucking apparent reason. Like, really. It's so stupid!! Especially, when i didnt do SHIT.. or if i wasn't in it or no where involved in it.. OR if it's for someone else's fucking cause. & what makes it even more stupid are that these people who don't like me DONT EVEN KNOW ME. All they know about me is my name and what school i go to.


Hah, haters amuse me. :)

Thinkin' back.

Oh man, i don't know if this is going to be a long one! I guess you can say my 4 day weekend was pretty chill. not gonna' lie. Full of a bunch of stuff. I kept thinkin' back at the past which was getting me sad but i got over it. I'm going through that phase where i'm starting to miss alot of things. Oh gaaaaahd. Oh yeah & the processs of moving is also taking forever and ever and ever. Not sure where i'm moving yet though. Either somewhere in otay still or something in mira mesa.. like camino ruiz or something like that.

Okay, so about my four day weekend.. Friday was just a chill day. wasted day since i had no school. & on Saturday! Valentines day. It was okaaay. hah, i guess you can say it was fun. :] Sunday was fun too! Basically just cruised around w/ people and yeah. & today.. which is monday, we ate sushi this morning at Sushiya. mmm, my boyfriend crunchy roll<3! ;) HAHA, then it started raining reallllly hard which sucked. But then we went and got my second boyfriend crispy chicken<3 at tapex! fuck yeeaaaah. Sorry, not going into details with my weekend! ;)

& nooooow back to thinkin' back at stuff! I reallly miss that feeling like when you see someone you like or whatever you call it, you get this happy feeling, ya know? HAH. i feel so gay writing this but i'm trying my hardest to explain it but ANYWAYS! that feeling where your happpy that they're just around you or because you guys are just together, like near eachother or with eachother, then you have good vibes and good feelings. the butterflies in your stomach! haha. and you smile aloooot. but yeah, i misss that feeeling. :[ agh, i feel so dumb. hah. But damn, it sucks when people feel that way towards YOU and you don't feel that way towards them. Ha, i feeel bad now 'cause i don't like him like that at all, like nothing more than just a friend. Honestly, if i could i would rewind back to New Years. real shit. Kaaay, i think i'm gonna stop it right here. Bye. <3

P.S, tilapia = alex castro is coooooooool.

Four day weekend begins.

FINALLY! The four day weekend that i've been waiting for is finally here. <3 hahahaha. i hate school so much. otay is so boring to me. not 'gonna lie. I think i really want to switch to another school. I don't know.. maybe i'm just saying this but whatever. Anyways! I didn't go to school yesterday due to all the crazy family shit that's been going on but i am not going into detail 'cause the whole world doesn't need to know but.. at least my mommys back home!! Too bad she's being a little moody, she's still jetlagged. -____-


Ugh! I missed a test yesterday since i wasnt' here, but i took it today and copied everything off jonathan. Hah, thanks jonathan. :] 'cause i woulda failed that shit! I did not get a thing on that damn paper, hah. Well today was the last day of school and the four day weekend begins. Too bad i barely have plans. Let's make plans. <3


& oh my goodness.. valentines day is this saturday. I have no idea what i'm doing and i don't have a valentine. I just really wanna go out to eat and watch a movie or something. It doesn't really matter with who, just someone who wants to spend a day with me! >.< haha. ehhh.


Hm. i don't know what to write about. Oh yeah! The fact that my horoscope is always freaking right scares the crap outta me. & i freaking HATE the weather. it pisses me off. hah. and Ahhh, Friday the 13th tomorrow! x___x

All said & done.

Ahhhh. this past week has been so hectic. x_x fuck. i'm so full of mixed emotions, my goodness! So.. today sucked. like hella. First offff, my fault for not bringing a jacket OR a damn umbrella today so i was basically soaked the beginning of the day. then, i was freezing for the rest of the day because it was so damn windy! :[ i hate the rain. period.


i've been feeling so incomplete for the past couple of days. i think people should know why by now but yeah, you get the point. there are so many things that remind me of csdknvsndk. it's beginning to get a little weird. 0.0 it's like signs. eh.. ANYWAYS! I keeep thinking of so many 'what if?' questions and there's just sooo much shit building up in my head that i can't even concentrate on my damn homework! D;< I don't get why it just ended like that, ya know? like.. so fast. I should've spoke out to him of what i needed to say friday night, i have no idea why i held back. Trust me, there are so many things that were left unsaid. :/ I betchu things wouldn't even be like this if i said what i wanted to say! I guess we weren't as 'strong' as i thought we were since our relationship just went all downhill like that. I swear i thought this was gonna last. I look at other relationships and see how much they fight, yet they STILL pull through all the bullshit/fighting and what not. Alla that makes me question myself. I shouldn't have assumed anything in the first place. I shouldn't even have believed anything that anyone told me. The only words i should've believed was the words that came from him, not anybody else. ... and now look what happened. how stupid of me. My heart literally dropped yesterday when i saw his response to what i asked him, so unexpected. I really don't get how guys get over girls in the quickness. Whatever, at least i know the truth now. Hah, funny to think that we'd get back but i guess everythings all said and done.But.. after all this, there should be no regrets though right? everything happens for a reason right? fuck. i hope so.

Breathe nothing but the positive.

All i really need to do now is " breathe nothing but the positive. " - credits to josh miranda. 'Cause it's happened once again. & ' everything happens for a reason ' is one of the quotes i live by. and if one door closes, a new one opens. I didn't think yesterday could get any worse. What a bad way to end the night. I feel like shit. I don't even think i'm doing anything for the rest of this weekend.


My 4 day weekend next week is totally ruined too. & I don't even wanna start about valentines day. I just hope twgbs. :[



Oh & one more thing. i fucking hate my dad. maybe not hate.. but you know what i mean. everyone should know how he is by now. He ruins my life. and i'm not even kidding. He doesn't trust me and says i'm exactly like my mom. a liar. so, fuck him. i'm not telling him shit anymore about when i go out. i'm just gonnna leave when i go out and come home whenever the fuck i want. I'm so glad my mom comes home on tuesday and we can finally be out of this shithole as soon as she fucking divorces him. I actually cannot wait until they fucking sign that divorce paper. The day i don't live with my dad will be one of the greatest days of my life. I know i sound mean and i should be thankful that i even have a dad.. but i AM thankful for my dad but if you were to be put into my shoes, you wouldn't want to live with him either. Trust me.

BillyTee is freakin' awesome.

Sooooooo.. I've been thinking and i'm starting to get really bitchy and irritated at literally EVERYTHING nowadays. I haaate it. I think it's just my rag. >.<


HAH. here are some things i'm irritated about. -___-


1. I NEED MY MOM TO COME HOME NOW! She's been in the phillippines for about 2 fucking months now. It feels like i don't even have a mom.. which sucks. I'm the only freaking girl in the house who has to do EVERYTHING like clean & whatnot! LOL, oh yeah and i'm sick of washing dishes and my nailpolish coming off.. so my mommy needs to come back so we can get a damn manicure/pedicure. I miss doing that with her.. HAH. Ughh, my dads acting BIPOLOR so i'm going crazy here. HAH. fuck. he's nice at one point, then in the next 3 hours, he's fucking mean and cussing non-stop at me. -_____-


2. People nowadays just annoy the fuck outta me. just looking at them annoys me. yeah, i know that sounds mean but UGH.. it happens. I think this is just a phase though. & when people try to start shit when they don't even fucking know me, fuck off. if i didn't do shit to you then just fuck off. seriously. OH YEAH! & people who think they can walk all over me pisses me off. i swearrrrr. hah. and especially when people try to swear like they know everything, like they swear they're always right. the kind of people who NEVER wanna be wrong.. yeah, i just wanna go off on them.


3. Oh yeah & bitches who are trying to ruin me and cameron. fall the fuck back. hah, sorry but we're not gonna' letchu break us. so stop trying. 'nuff said.


4. I have nooooooo warm clothes at all! The weather is super super confusing. One day it's like 80 degrees, the next day its fucking freezing. I never know what to wear! 0___0 Blah. I only have clothes to wear when it's sunny so i need to go shopping. But i can't even go shopping 'cause my moms not even home yet so she better take me when she's back! Oh yeah, i hate the rain. It's only cute when your with your boy. HAH.


5. I'm getting SO annoyed by my teachers! Mr. Patterson made me write ' I will not use profanity in Mr. Patterson Ruiz's class anymore. ' or something like that in CURSIVE! -____- It was soooo stupid. HAH. it was funny though 'cause i was super pissed. He even took my phone away!!! He never does that, he usually just gives it back to you at the end of the day but he was on his period and turned it into the office so my brother had to pick it up. He can be soooo chill but he hasn't been lately. Then there's Ms. Blomqvist or Ms. BQ, whatever her name is. She CANNOT teach for SHIT! I'm serious. i'm not even trying to be mean. EVERYONE knows it! That's why everyone has a bad grade in that class. She always catches me eating though.. ahaha. Then there's Mr. Gonzales, he bothers our principal too much. All he does is lecture about his damn life.


6. I think my hair stopped growing. It's long.. but not long enough. It's so boring too! It's annoying me that i don't even know how to curl my own damn hair.. and it's just brown.. but light light brown. the stupid sun made it light. I'll probably dye it black one day.. or get some color in there! Who knows! ;)


7. I'm being reallllllly lazy lately. I have to go do my budget.. so i'm doing it after our 4 day weekend! :] HAHA. I think on February 21st and 22nd? I don't remember. But yeah! I WANT MY LICENSE AND A JOB NOW! I'm tirrrred of being broke! & i noticed that i get jealous SO easily now. i hate it! ugh. i gotta stop that bad habit. D;


Okay... I think i'm done. Sorry guys. I just needed to vent. :]